On Toilet Paper 

in which I discover the incredibly rich Wikipedia article on toilet paper 

August 16th, 2015

While in the well-curated bathroom at what I am deciding at this very moment to call The Knickerbocker Sampler Box, I was once again put in mind of Umberto Eco's The Infinity of Lists. Now, I have not spent so much time in that bathroom to have made a pock-mark upon that book. Borges considered himself to be lazy and so preferred the ease of writing books about books (rather than the imagined book itself); therefore, I have no qualms about reading the Wikipedia article on a book instead of the book itself, and writing silly blog posts on the resulting misadventures.

In this particular case, one is informed that The Infinity of Lists contains Rabelais' list of bottom wipes. The preceding link is really the subject of this idiotic post.

Read it. You will not be disappointed. For example, it contains such gems as a list of the types of toilet paper holders (for which there is yet another Wikipedia article):

  1. A horizontal piece of wire mounted on a hinge, hanging from a door or wall.
  2. A horizontal axle recessed in the wall.
  3. A vertical axle recessed in the wall
  4. A horizontal axle mounted on a freestanding frame.
  5. A freestanding vertical pole on a base.
  6. A wall mounted dispensing unit, usually containing more than one roll. This is used in the commercial / away from home marketplace.
  7. A wall mounted dispensing unit with tissue interfolded in a "S" type leave so the user can extract the tissue one sheet at a time.


Toilegami refers to toilet paper origami. Like table napkins, some fancy Japanese hotels fold the first squares of toilet paper on its dispenser to be presented in a fashionable way.

(Which also has its own article.)

And this is all in addition the more mundane facts about shitsticks and sponges, corn-cobs, etc.